Forever

Have you ever promised someone forever?  Whether that’s a friend, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, anyone. Have you? I’ve been thinking about forever a lot recently.

I used to like to think that forever was a promise. You’d promise your friend forever and they would never leave, tell a lie, and tell a secret. Lately I’ve been thinking that that just isn’t true. Can we really promise forever??

Tonight, I went for a walk. Whilst I was on this walk I was looking around. Everything reminded me of my childhood. Whether that was a tree I always used to climb, the road I used to walk down to go to school, my actual school or even something as simple as a cherry. But one thing that really caught my eye was a house.

I know this sounds a little creepy but hear me out. This house was my friend’s house. We used to be inseparable. We would spend every weekend together and every night after school. We’d play and play for hours. Then one day it all changed.

One day I started high school. She was a year younger than me meaning that when I started high school, she was still in primary. For some reason then we stopped talking. I don’t know why. Maybe it was the amount of homework I was getting, maybe it was the worry of what people at school would think. I don’t know. But what I do know is that from that day until today, 3 years later, we still haven’t spoken.

That doesn’t mean that I’ve forgotten the secrets, the stupid fights, the laughter, the games, the memories. That just means that that is exactly what they all are. Memories.

I think you only know if you loved something after it’s over. This is defiantly one thing that I loved. But the thing is, I can’t go back and change the past. Trust me, if I could I would. I’d go back and id makes sure that I never lost her. I’d tell her how much I appreciated every moment I spent with her and id tell her how much she means to me. But I can’t.

So the only thing I can do is learn. Learn from my mistakes. Learn that if I love something to never let it go. To never let that thing fall, not even for a moment. Because as soon as you do, it’s gone. Whether that’s for a day, an hour, a month, a year, or forever. It’s gone. And in that moment, you realise how much you love that thing.

So if someone promises you forever, promise me, you’ll never break that promise. Because I know how much it hurts.

I’m sorry that this post was a little sad, but I just needed to get this of my chest. I promise that my next post will be happier J.

I’ll see you soon xxx

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