‘I’ve never been the best at honesty; I’ve made more mistakes
than I can even count’
This song. THIS SONG. Literally describes my life. I’ve tried
for years and years to be a better version of me. To try and impress everyone,
except myself. I’ve tried and tried and tried. Until, today. I’ve suddenly come
to a realization. I can never live up to anyone’s expectations because there
expectations aren’t me.
Trust me, there expectations are based off where? Probably
moves, books; fiction. I’m not fake, I’m not made up, I’m not some character in
a book that you can mold to fit your version of perfect. I’m a real person.
These people can try and intimidate me to become their
version of perfect but I’m not doing it anymore. I’m not changing myself to fit
in with them.
You probably know that I love music. I love writing it,
singing it (even though I’m not good), playing it, listening to it, everything about it. Music isn’t the coolest
thing to like at my school. A lot of people look at me like I’m weird or I’m
not good enough, especially because I don’t like particularly popular music
either.
But you know what? I’m sick of trying. I’m tired of trying to
be someone that I don’t want to be and someone that I don’t like to be. I’m
sick of it. If I want to spend every lunch in the music room, THEN I WILL.
Because you know what, I am good enough. I’m good enough for
me and I’m good enough for someone else out there. Someone that I don’t even
know yet, will fall in love with me one day. And they’ll love everything about
me. My flaws and imperfections. My edges, my doubts.
So, I don’t need any of them two faced bitches that are in my
school now. I don’t need them to make me feel like I’m not good enough every
moment of every day. I don’t need them to make me feel like a piece of shit and
like I can’t achieve whatever I want to achieve I don’t need that.
So this is what I’m saying to you. You don’t need negativity;
you don’t need anyone who makes you feel like you can be who you want to be.
Spend time with people who you don’t have to try with.
Be with people who make you happy, not who you think you
should be spending time with because you’ve grown up to believe that you need
to act a specific way. Act like you. Because I love you, you should love you
and someone you don’t even know yet will love you.
One day everything will fall into place and everything will
work out. So for now yes, we’re messed up, hormonal, stressed, over worked teenagers
who don’t know anything about life, but that doesn’t mean we can’t feel good
about ourselves. What kind of a world is it if it is rare to have
self-confidence? Do what you want not what the person next to you wants. You
shouldn’t have to try because you’re already amazing.
Anyway, I’ll see you soon xxx
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